and the result is... *drum rolls*

i woke up smiling. taking bout 40 minutes bath (haha sumpah 1st tym). wore my handmade baju kurung. got myself mentally ready n went to school. kat paga skolah "Keputusan SPM akan keluar pada pukul 12pm. Sila berpakaian kemas." tgk jam. 10.15am. shit. went back home. hmm maybe God's giving me some more tym 2 feel a little bit scared. but its not working. was still smiling. :) 11.30am. went back again. masuk dewan. spotted feisal. n others. tgk meja. pn rosnee. syafiq sdg mengisi borg2. pegi dekat. "syafiqq! 1oA's! tahniah!". bangge aku ngan syafiq. tgk kembang kempis idung ayah dye haha. qila dtg gv me a hug. filled me in ngan result2 satu skolah yg dy tau. my turn. duduk. THAT's when i started to shake. pn rosnee suruh sign. tgn aku was shaking gle2. sign jd cam tulisan kat dinding gua. mama made her best "cegu disiplin face". pn rosnee pn kuakan slip tu. 5A 4B 1C. smiled again :). the word redha filled into my heart. btol. aku redha. :)

• bahasa melayu A+ (wanita melayu terakher)
• bahasa inggeris A (of coursee *-*)
• pendidikan islam A (amiiin)
• sejarah A- (naseb baek mama xngamuk)
• mathematics A (fiuuuh)
• additional mathematics B (O.o unbelievable)
• physic B (that's a relief)
• chemistry C+ (hallamaaak)
• biology B (urk? how did that happen?)
• english for science and technology B+ (dasar pemerikse taik idung masen!)

sayaredha

cut deep boy, u cut deep.

you
were always there

followed me wherever

accompanied me whenever

were there for whatever

you said

"im a guy who kissed u thru the phone"

"if things dont work out between us, i promise never to look at any other girl"

"my child gonna have ur hair"

you gave

hopes

dreams

wishes

smile

promises

which stay

hopes

dreams

wishes

smile

promises

now

i'm nobody to you

now

left without a word

no sorry

no goodbye

no farewell

no nothing

now

a new girl?

now

you cut me deep

so many questions left unanswered

why why why

at least answer this one

how could you?

ever heard this?

what goes around comes around

imcutdeep

my food jurnal :P

these are all i ate today (n beberapa glasses of air kosong of course)

segelas air jagung

nata de coco
2 biji buah plum

a bottle of tinge

2 keping roti gerdenia (ramai yg gemarkannye.. rase segar sentiase)

2 cups of tea
xmakannasi:P

BBQ nite at the house of the three musketiak!

Pada tanggal 25 februari 2010, seperti yg sudah dirancangkan begitu lama iaitu 2 3 ari sebelumnya maka berlangsunglah MALAM PESTA BABYQ dengan gilang gemilangnya. Acara yg julung2 kali atau dalam erti kata laen belum pernah dlm sejarah diadakan ini bergeografi di rumah baru yg sgtlah cantik dan besar sekali tajaan penuh IKEA dgn kerjasama tuan rumah achuwa, pak usu dan 3 org dayang2 yg bertugas menghuru harakan majlis itu. Dengan sokongan penuh mereka2 yg turut terlibat yg mempunyai sifat2 mulia lagi terpuji dan saling bantu-membantu seperti roti jala dan gulai itik, majlis malam itu berlangsung dengan sempurna dan keseronokan yg xterhingga. Amatlah ruginya sesiapa yg tidak menunjukkan batang idung di sana kerana bukan sahaja gambar2 idung anda akan diambil sbg kenangan tetapi juga perut anda akan mengalami suatu pengalaman melantak yg tiada tolok bandingnya. Hayatila kembara kami. ;)

semua penduduk bekerjasama dan bermuafakat menunggu terpanggang dgn sempurnanya ayam, sotong dan udang yg disediakan..

pekerja pakej= tukang masak + tukang makan diimport khas untuk event berprestij ini

walaupun sudah kekenyangan, kami masih komited untuk mnangkap gamba

dedikasi kami dalam menjalankan tugas yg sudah diamanahrayakan= pose

salah seorg intruder yg bjaya diberkas sebelum ianya berjaya menghuru harakan majlis

tragedi pecah kolam yg berlaku sejurus selepas perasmian penutupan majlis malam itu, tiada kemalangan jiwa dilaporkan, cuma pesakit jiwa ini yg berjaya dikesan :)

sgtsgtsgtsygfamilysaya

every song reminds me of u

Pnah x korang rase ni.. when every song reminds u of him/her.. every action make u think of him/her.. every place u go u see him/her.. everyday is a a flashback of him/her doing something u hate or like.. every second kills.. every word hurts.. every step is misery.. every moment u feel lonely.. empty.. and the tears never ever stop..

Everywhere- Michelle Branch

I recognize the way you make me feel

It's hard to think that you might not be real

I sense it now, the water's getting deep

I try to wash the pain away from me

Cause you're everywhere to me

And when I close my eyes it's you I see

You're everything I know that makes me believe

I'm not alone

What hurts the most- Rascal Flatts

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

even though going on with you gone still upsets me.

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

but that's not what gets me.

What hurts the most.

Was being so close.

And having so much to say.

And watching you walk away.

And never knowing.

What could have been.

And not seeing that loving you Is what I was tryin' to do.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go but I'm doin' It

Life after you- Daughtry

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter

As long as I'm laughing with you

I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after

After the life we've been through'

Cause I know there's no life after you.

Havent met you yet- Michael Buble

I'm not surprised

not everything lasts

I've broken my heart so many times,

I stop keeping track.

talk myself in I

talk myself out

I get all worked up and then I let myself down.

Fight for love- Cheryl Cole

Just know that youre not in this thing alone

Theres always a place in me that you can call home

Whenever you feel like were growing apart

Lets just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything thats worth having is sure enough worth fighting for

Quittings out of the question

When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love

If its worth having its worth fighting for

So sick- NeYo

I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing you were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs

so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

Leave me alone

Stupid love songs

Don't make me think about her smile

Or having my first child

I'm letting

Do you remember- Jay Sean

Ive been thinking about you

And how we used to be then

Back when we didn't have to end, we can start again

Theres nothing left to say

Dont waste another day

Just you and me tonight

Everything will be okay

If its alright with you then its alright with me

Baby lets take this time lets make new memories

Do you remember do you remember do you remember

All of the times we had

Do you remember do you remember do you remember

All of the times we had

Lets bring it back (Bring it back!)

Crawl- Chris Brown

So where are you standing now?

Are you in the crowd of my faults?

Love, cant you see my hand?

I need one more chance.

We can still have it all.

So well crawltil we can walk again.

Then well run

Until were strong enough to jump.

Then well fly

Until there is no end

So lets crawl, crawl, crawl

Back to love.

Breakeven- The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in

Cos I got time while she got freedom

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you

What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok

I'm falling to pieces

One still in love while the other ones leaving

Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

shreddedheart

abso-fucking-lutely in love!

I LOVE U uncle Chris Noth!!

sayasukaorgtua

my late SMKI column.. :(

so pada suatu pagi yg hening.. mira telah bermesej2an wimme.. and she told me bout this yearbook for smki's last year's f5 students to merepek meraban bout their 5 years studying there.. after bebincang ngan beberapa org kenamaan.. they let me join them! i was soo happy :)).. but at last xsempat keja deadline uhuhu.. so why waste it kan? just post it here, that's what blogs are for :)

SMKI- in my head, my eyes, my heart by SEYHA

I am unwritten.. Cant read my mind, I’m undefined.. I’m just beginning.. the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned~ today is where ur book begins.. the rest is still unwritten~

Yg berusaha tuan editor, yg xberusaha tuan reader, yg dikasihi dicentai tuan member2. First of all, it’s a great honour for me to be a part of project of the year kita ni. Gotta admit, producing a magazine filled ngan stories from everyone’s eyes, ears, n heart is a magnificent ideas!  Big round of applause untuk the masterminds! Ok2 I’m about to start! Fasten ur seatbelts folks cuz we’re going to a wild ride down memory lane! As some of u dah tau, I didn’t graduate ngan ampa. So kalau ampa ex student aku ex ex student. Unfortunate doesn’t smell (translate bm kalau xpaham2), I moved to bangi in 2007 rite after PMR. Pelik camna aku tejebak ngan this yearbook? Well that’s what we call fate cam dlm cte Forest Gum tu. Yeah, life’s like a box of chocolate, u don’t know what u’ll get . U see, kejadian2 camnila yg buat aku rasa aku patot jadi novelist or penulis column dlm magazine cam Carrie Bradshaw in Sex In The City. I cannot stop babbling. Even in an article :p. ok IBRAHIM! Hmm apa yg aku can remember bout this school is I learnt here. Well duh the place is a school. But hey, what I learnt here, were more than text books got to offer. I learnt to live life n love life. Ok aunty Hallmark, pinjam kejap ur moto. Lesson number 1, “how to make friends by myself”. Haha as pathetic as it sounded, aku ni jenis malu2 arnab bila meeting manusia yg xnah knal ni. But here, I’ve made quite a number of friends. Well bila pikiaq balik, maybe I just made one and she introduced me to others but sumone once told me, it’s not important the way we get a friend, its where we take the friendship after that that counts. I’ve found the love of my life here! She’s M. ok this is not Gossip Girl so she’s Mirah. Love u to death girlfriend :*. Lesson number 2, “boys are friends not jerks” (yes I love Nemo). Sblm aku enter smki, I was in an all girls school. Jadi no guy, n I was so used to seeing girls everywhere, so bottom line, I was one of the anti-guys girls. But here, aku jmpa so many great guys. My first boyfriend is here. U know who u are so smile when u read this . Guys are actually good friends, talkers, jokers and teachers. Yap most of yg diorg ajaq tu xbeguna pn but they still do it. That’s how good they are. Ok b4 aku kna tukaq tajuk column aku ni jadi “MEN- in their heads, their eyes, their hearts”, lets continue. Lesson number 3, “party like there’s no tomorrow”. Smki was all about fun and events. Seingat aku we never ended a year without organizing at least 5 events. Ada hari guru, hari koko, then these sukan2 events cam MSSK, MSSD, MPSP ;p etc. Never in my life aku join any better hari koko in schools other than smki. Being a part of the making of the events yg plg best (esp the skipping classes part). That will definitely stick hard cam pakai gam gajah kat pala otak aku. One party sewel in 2005 masa aku klas 1a1. BEST pnyaa. Acara 1- “baling belons filled wif water” to acara 2- “siram pila ayaq amik mana pun” to acara 3-“ kek sedap + mahal looks better atas baju” to acara finale-“ sapa main ka xmain ka.. CLEAN!”. Acara last tu host dy seorg cegu yg sgt berdedikasi mengajaq sbuah kelas f3 masa kami bersewel2an di café. Haha. Lesson number 4, “my school is wonderland”. Org salu g skolah sbb terpaksa, or nak jadi pandai, or nk lepak, or all of the above. Aku plak pi skolah to simply smile  and have fun. For the first n the last tym in my lyf, I actually enjoyed school. I hated it when its tym to head home. I hated to be parted wif my peeps, my class, even desk n chair, papan itam, tingkap, pintu, simen, dinding etc. aku ingat agi bla dpt tau yg I will not graduate ngan kwn2. Mcm kna tamparan setebal 3 inci stengah dgn speed 340km/j. N bila aku first moved here, everywhere I went its empty spaces. When ur gone, the pieces of my heart im missing u, when ur gone, the face I came to know went missing too, when ur gone all the words I need to hear to always get me thru the day, n make it ok, I miss u~ Rasa cam nasi lemak xbuh sambal, laksa xbuh bawang. Aku ingt food ja? Tukaq2. Rasa cam desperate housewives xdak bree, ugly betty xdak betty n most importantly, amirul fahmi tanpa Sheila majid ngahaha. bt of coz aku recovered immediately after seeing all the good looking guys kat bangi ni haha. I have new frens skang. Of cozla ampa ingat aku frog under coconut shell? (again, translate bm).

Okla penat ampa membaca penat lagi aku mereka. So to end this up, I wish you all the very best that lyf can offer. Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Ibrahim is our school n forever it’ll be. Sumtyms u think u’ll be fine by urself cuz a dream is a wish u make all alone. Its easy to feel lyk u don’t need help bt its harder to walk on ur own. Open ur heart n believe in the gift of a friend. Someone who knows when ur lost n ur scared. there thru the highs n the lows. Sumone u cn count on, sumone who cares. besides u wherever u go. Demi lovato- a gift of a friend. ~cheese~

Nasihah Syahirah (smki 2005-2007)